My wife loves being domestic! And I love it! I'm amazed at how much time she spends studying recipe books and websites. And everything she makes turns out great. We've had company over two or three times now, and she doesn't worry about using them as guinea pigs. She doesn't need to! The lady has talent.

It is hard to fit in guests with our somewhat chaotic and very busy lives. There's a long list of couples we want to have over (which we have never had the guts to write down), and I don't how we'll ever get it done. Poor Tara doesn't mind cleaning and such while I'm at work, but I know it must exhaust her. Do any of you who have been married longer than seven months (today!) have any advice or scheduling techniques you have found to help?


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scottntara.blogspot.com

I've always tried to just give Misti the weekend off, particularly with the baby. I try to do all the feeding, cleaning, etc. that I can on Friday nights and Saturdays and Sundays because she handles all of it while I'm at the office. This means sometimes I don't get to do things I want to do, but that's alright. It comes around.

Good idea. I definitely help out more on the weekends, but I have my weekend projects (music and writing) that are very important to me. I'm trying to get as much of that accomplished as I can before we have kids!


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I have a need for what we call "cave time." That would be time to veg, surf the web, draw, read, play video games, do some design work, etc. I find that helping Misti feel less stressed leads to more time available to do those things that are important to me.

Having children changes that a bit.

I've found that the thing that makes hospitality the easiest is just to commit to doing it. We all know the saying "If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it." Busy people always manage to find time to fit things in, and I know y'all are both great at getting things done. In the years we've been married, we've found that getting people into our home is often the toughest thing, because of having to coordinate schedules. Once you manage to do that, you'll find a way to get the house in order and something good on the table.

Something that's really obvious but that we often neglect doing is just basic management of the house. The idea of "a place for everything and everything in its place" is true of course, but it's hard to discipline yourself to keep things orderly throughout the week. I know for me it's a lot easier to just pile things all over the coffee table intending to get to it "soon," which really means at the last minute or when the bills are almost overdue. But I'm trying to discipline myself to putting things where they belong as soon as I can deal with them, i.e., throwing out the junk mail when I get it; putting away the clean dishes when they're dry; ironing the laundry on the day I wash as opposed to piling it up and letting it sit for a week and a half (until I need something ironed for church and make myself late). Simple things like that really don't take time, but it does take a lot of effort to make yourself do. But if you can keep your house orderly throughout the week, then a quick spot-clean before guests come is a breeze, and it gives you more time to prep food and special things.

Always remember that the crock pot (if you have one) is your friend. Once you've developed the kinds of friendships where you don't feel the need to impress people, having something simple out of the crockpot, or sandwiches, or even leftovers, can be much more meaningful than having a fancy meal. Everyone loves to be treated like they're at the Ritz, sure, but our society is so lacking in basic relationships and intimate friendships, that often just sharing a simple meal means more than the fanciest, most expensive, and time-consuming dishes you could make. Plus it can take the pressure off of guests to behave like "guests," and helps them feel more at home, and builds the bonds of friendship. If you feel comfortable in your house and with what you're serving, they will too.

It's also worth not having your house perfect before people come over. People want us to be "real," which means letting them see our dirt and imperfections. It's a large part of what friendships are based on, and it's a large part of what hospitality is. Granted, entertaining guests is completely different than hospitality, but if what you're going for his hospitality, then you don't need to put pressure on yourselves for perfection in cleanliness and decor and food. Focus on relationship building.

Thanks, Megs, great thoughts. Guests aside, I always feel happier and more like myself when my home is in order. And when I'm more comfortable, I have no doubt my guests are, too. It's definitely an adjustment to suddenly be living with someone else with a different perspective and different habits than my own. But it's made life easier, too, because I no longer wash every dish and every item of clothing myself. True, there's twice as much dishes and laundry to do now, but I get a lot of help from someone who at least claims to enjoy it, and indeed does the bulk of it, and that makes life a lot easier!


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scottntara.blogspot.com

Alright, alright, I fully admit that what Megan said is definitely a problem of mine. I do love keeping house and keeping things together and being proud of the place when Scott gets home and tells me how great things look. The problem is just motivation. I can all too easily find other things to do and put off the tidying up.

As I told Scott last night, I completely acknowledge that this is an issue, and I will be making steps to improve!!

Baby, I think you're the greatest.


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Also, I do think we should just go ahead and invite people. When people are invited, and a date is set, things get done. I work well with a deadline ;) And it's easier to meal plan when you know who is coming and when. I don't think it would be a bad thing for us to make out a list of people we want to invite over and then just start working our way down the list!